I’m in Turkey now, for my semester abroad.
I’m going to try to find a Turkish comic book store. Wiki says there are comics. We shall see. That is all for now.
~Han
Turkey & comics?
February 7, 2010Justice Society on Smallville
February 5, 2010This is honestly the first Smallville episode (or movie, whatever) that I have ever seen. I am NOT a Superman fan, but I respect the fact that Superman was the first superhero and had a huge impact on modern comics. However, he’s too “perfect” and is annoying and I don’t like him.
But I love the Justice Society, so I was intrigued.
It was well, almost a let down? I’m not sure how else to describe it. I couldn’t follow it very well since I’m not familiar with the Smallville canon, but I was still excited to see Dr. Fate, Hawkman, and the Star Spangled Kid on T.V, and I was especially excited to see The Flash and the Green Lantern. Yet the last two got very little air time, since I guess they both knew this shit was whack. Who knows, but whatever, it was better than nothing.
BUT, the worst part? The goddamn Batman voice Hawkman was using. Fuck you Christian Bale, look what you’ve done to our superhero’s. They all sound like they need a fucking throat drop and smoke 7 packs a day. That’s fucking stupid. The director should have really stepped in and said “NO BATMAN VOICE.” Jesus fuck, it was obnoxious.
I then turned the T.V off a half hour before it ended because I started to fall asleep. Better luck next time, I guess.
-Lauren
How to start a morning right
February 4, 2010
Jealous yet, bitches?
I happen to have a whole bunch of these wonderful Toon Tumblers, and I hope to get more later this year at various cons. They are excellent glasses, very durable, and my friends get a kick out of them when I bust them out. You can order them from here: http://www.toontumblers.com/ 🙂
-Lauren
Wolverine
February 3, 2010So last year I went and saw Wolverine in theaters. Now, the last X-Men movie didn’t exactly leave a bad taste in my mouth, and Hugh Jackman is a pretty sexy mofo, plus, Ryan Reynolds was in it, and I would hit that with the might of Thor. So I was kind of excited for it.
Then the movie started.
Hugh Jackman looks like he can’t take this shit seriously anymore. Afterall, he now does Broadway, a true tough guy calling, so he doesn’t need that pansy ass Wolverine. Seriously he wasn’t even trying. The rest of the cast was also not trying as well, but they were still doing a better job then all of those asshats in Twilight. Plus, I couldn’t keep up with all the mutants they were introducing. The ones at the very begining aside from Deadpool? No fucking idea who they were. They all died within like 10 minutes so it’s not like I could even care about them. It was however cool seeing Emma Frost on-screen, although not what I really expected.
Oh, and lets not forget Deadpool. I’m certain Deadpool can talk, and you can’t see his face. I’m not sure who that ugly bastard was during the last fight scene, but he was not Deadpool. I’m certain thats what Edward and Bella’s (from Twilight) love child would look like though, and I’m not happy about that.
-Lauren
The Spirit
February 2, 2010So how many of you sat through the shit fest known as ‘The Spirit’? I saw it Christmas day and never saw it again. I was honestly excited about the movie, since I am a Spirit fan. The comics are fun, and Eisner is a good writer. Frank Miller isn’t the worst person to do a movie either, or so I thought. Frank Miller is great when working with his own material. However, once he starts fucking with someone else’s property? Shit hits the fan. Of course the movie was you know, terrible and everyone knew it, so of course Mr. Miller decides to be a giant fucking pussy and come back with “I DIDN’T DO IT FOR THE FANS.”
No, you obviously didn’t. But why would you want to owe the fans anything? Aren’t they paying to see this amazing shit fest? The casting was good–Except ScarJo whom can’t act to save her life. Plus, Samuel L Jackson is always fun to watch on-screen, especially since he doesn’t really act. he just yells, but it works because he is a bad ass motherfucker. Frank Miller really…should not ever touch something he did not write. He sucks. He sucks fucking Aquaman dick. I can’t even begin to describe how much he sucks. I mean he’s better than Twilight but still.
My non comic book loving sister fell asleep 10 minutes into the movie. I stayed awake, and would have rather been reading some Aquaman comics. It would have been less painful.
-Lauren
Hellsing
February 1, 2010For those of you who ignore manga and anime (good for you), you might not know wtf Hellsing is. Hellsing, in a very basic nutshell, is a pretty decent manga about vampires fighting Nazi’s. It’s easy to follow, the art is detailed and good and shit, and overall I enjoy the series. However, this series also attracts some really batshit insane fans.
And said batshit insane fans need to a good old reality check.
Since many anime and manga fans enjoy cosplay, many anime and manga fans use this opportunity to dress up not as vampires, but as Nazi’s! Now, some cosplayers feel the need to change the swastika to a smiley face, but the idea is still there; You’re dressed up as a Nazi. Maybe these kids are ignorant to modern history (which I’m being serious about, they could very well be), or maybe they want to ~*rebel*~ against society. If you’re one of those little fuckwits who is rebelling, please go to www.google.com and search ‘Nazi Germany’. I’m not going to give you a history lesson, but I will tell you to straight up go fuck yourself.
It’s especially insulting when said fans walk around downtown Baltimore during Otakon, dressed as such. I know what the fuck you’re supposed to be, but the rest of Baltimore does not. Baltimore also has a very large Jewish population. Rest assured at least 100% of people downtown who see’s you is most likely beyond offended by your lack of class. Of course you’ll probably whine and bitch that you have the right to cosplay as whatever you want, but I also have the right to tell you how much of an asshat you are, so take it like the fucking man or woman you pretend to be.
-Lauren
Batman drives a Lexus
January 31, 2010So the new Lexus 2010 TV spot features a rather familiar looking logo floating in the sky, with a very “cat” like lady driving a very nice Lexus GX. Personally I doubt anyone in Gotham would drive a Lexus (especially when Bruce Wayne could afford much more exotic cars), but to each their own:
Batman himself has also had a long history with the infamous clown:
Seriously if the Batmobile were speeding up behind me, I would get the fuck out of the way.
Other Batman commercials:
I don’t think Batman would ever eat Taco Bell. I don’t think he would be able to get out of that suit before it was filled to the brim with shit.
If Batman were smart, he wouldn’t use goddamn On Star which can track where the fuck you are. Asshole.
Do you want to know the real reason why Robin died? Because this fat ass motherfucker pulled over for a Diet Coke.
-Lauren
I hate Twilight more than Aquaman
January 30, 2010Tonight my man and I decided we wanted to do something nice and funny, and go to the movies. In my area we have a $3 movie theater. They get all of the first run movies about 3 months later, and the ticket prices are mad cheap. Well, all they had was Twilight New Moon, so we saw it. We have seen Twilight and we got a kick out of it because it was really unintentionally funny, so what the hell.
I don’t like vampires to begin with, but they aren’t the worst things ever. I enjoy True Blood and Dracula so I’m not totally anti-vamp. I just hate the fucking vampire kids who used to hang around Hot Topic when I worked there. But I digress! Twilight, which is essentially about fucking forest fairies who don’t eat humans and glitter in the sunlight, is the worst piece of shit ever. The author is a fucking joke. Even Aquaman could write better than her and he’s a piece of shit too. The series teaches girls who are too fucking dumb to think for themselves that having an abusive boyfriend is O.K so long as he’s beautiful. It’s also honky dory to string along a guy who’s clearly nicer and better for you, because he’s not as beautiful. Oh and you’re only valid as a human (har har) so long as you have a beautiful boyfriend who fucking glitters in the sun.
New Moon the movie is gawd awful. Twilight was at least funny. It takes itself way too seriously, and everyone in the movie looks like they’d rather be getting fucked by a horse then actually trying to act. Kristin Stewart, who plays the brain dead protagonist, looks bored and blinks her eyes too fucking much. She can’t act, plain and simple. She’s not even pretty. The guy who plays Edward, whom I lovingly call ‘Foot Face’, honest to God looks like he’s in physical pain through the whole movie. I thought he was going to hurl on Kristin Stewart when Edward was dumping her in the woods. Her reaction to being dumped by the worlds most beautiful Foot Face? Why, she blinked, blinked some more, and then blinked. Eventually she tripped on a tree branch, fell on her knee, and then passed out. The last time I fell on my knee I bitched about it for 5 seconds and then got over it.
So in this movie there’s also CGI wolves. The CGI is fucking terrible. Now, if you can make me believe that Optimus Prime is real, then you can make me believe that these fucking wolves could fuck up someones life. And I don’t want to hear that “not in the budget” bullshit. This series has made millions of dollars off of 14 year old girls. Trust me, they have the money, but it’s clear even the fucking director doesn’t give a fuck. I can’t take anyone in the cast seriously as an actor, either. Everytime I see one of them in something non Twilight related, I laugh at them. I understand needing to collect a fucking paycheck, but this is too much. None of the characters have any chemistry between them. None. Not even Kristin Stewart and Foot Face. They look like they would rather be vomiting spiders than kissing each other.
Do you know the one good thing about this movie? It’s an effective form of birth control. My vagina shriveled up into itself and shot itself in the face. If I ever wind up having a kid, and I come home one day when they’re 12 or 13, only to find them enjoying this piece of shit or something just as stupid, I will beat my kids with a dolphin. I know I liked dumb shit as a kid, but at least Sailor Moon taught me to be a good friend and only fall for guys who get kidnapped by space witches.
-Lauren
Justice League: Cry For Justice
January 29, 2010Is awesome. I just started reading moderns within the last year, and picked this up since it has my secret fictional boyfriend Hal Jordan in it. While I don’t know the back story to all the characters, it’s still easy to follow, and a great stand-alone series outside of the Blackest Night universe. The art however, is beautiful.
The series deals with the current JL dealing with, and seeking revenge on the deaths of their friends (Batman, for example). It’s a great story with a lot of angst, but not in that annoying 15-year-old Hot Topic kid kind of way. The relationships are pretty clear-cut, with Green Lantern and Green Arrow sticking by each other, while Supergirl and Captain Marvel’s relationship is just starting…but ultimately goes awry.
As I said earlier, the art is awesome. I’m a big fan of good art, and that’s what ultimately draws me into a new series. Mauro Cascioli is the artist, and he’s the shit. I’ll stop kissing this guys ass, but seriously, look at this shit right here:
That’s awesome.
The hardback GN will be out later this year if you’ve skipped out on the series thus far, but I urge you to check out the GN. It’s a good read, I promise.
-Lauren
Hal Jordan is a sexy motherfucker.
January 28, 2010Now I feel like a grade A dork when I say this, but for a fictional character, Hal Jordan is fucking hot. Plus he gets all kinds of space-ass. He’s the James T. Kirk of the D.C universe.
Speaking of good-looking comic book characters, Tony Stark is also pretty hot. Plus, when you have a fine ass motherfucker named Robert Downey JR. playing him, it adds to the sex appeal. Seriously, I think Marvel and DC need to play up how hot some of their characters are. The women are all kinds of crazy good-looking, made to clearly be fan boy fodder, but what about those of us who like men? I’m not saying looking at Supergirl isn’t terrible, but it does nothing for me.
However as hot as they are, I have no desire to see fan art of said characters in raunchy poses. I still like my porn with real people (and I also like it free).
-Lauren
Girls With Comics 