Reasons not to read Cosmo: Article on Dating Geeks

This may be the most terrible article I’ve read in a very long time. I linked it to prove it exists, because I could not have come up with this crap on my own. I will copy’/paste Cosmo’s reasoning, followed by my comments on why Cosmo is a giant piece of crap wrapped in a magazine cover.

Also, let me preface this by stating that I have been dating an extremely geeky guy for seven and a half years. And I am good friends with many others. Pretty qualified here.

 

Ever since Michael Cera became hot leading guy material, we’ve been thinking about the dorky guys we often overlook. In our experience, nothing about our nerdy next-door-neighbor ever really inspired any naughty thoughts (except for you know…free homework help). But it turns out that this slightly geeky breed of men might make the best boyfriends. Here’s why.

1. He’s capable of memorizing every line of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings so he shouldn’t have trouble remembering your birthday and favorite kind of flowers.

‎It took my boyfriend about four years to remember my birthday and our anniversary. (March 1 and 3 respectively….not that difficult -___-)

2. Sure, he may secretly want to get it on with his super hot neighbor, but knowing that you’re the hottest girl he’s ever been with will probably keep him from cheating.

Load of crap, men will cheat if they want to cheat, the looks of their significant other notwithstanding.

3. Geeks tend to be tech-savvy. Which means not only will he be able to fix a computer problem and upgrade your software, but he’ll actually enjoy doing it.

Geeks find it insulting to be constantly asked by their friends and loved ones to fix their computers. They don’t actually enjoy it, and would rather teach you how to do it so they can be proud of their geeky girlfriend.

4. Although the dumb jock thing is a total cliche, you’re unlikely to meet a dorky guy who can’t string together a sentence and carry on an intelligent conversation.

I know plenty of geeky guys who can’t string together a coherent sentence or hold an intelligent conversation. It gets worse when around women.

5. Since he’s supersmart and probably already making a ton of money, he won’t think being a roadie for Vampire Weekend is a great “career opportunity.”

When the hell did geeky = super smart and rolling in it? And why is Cosmo trying to write an article about “looking past” the geekiness and turning it instead into an article on how to be a gold digger?

6. He was probably bullied during high school so he’ll be sympathetic when you vent about the office bitch…and help you plot a plan to bring her down.

He may have been bullied in high school, so your venting about the office bitch just makes YOU look like an office bitch who has nothing better to do on her hands besides criticize other people.

7. He’ll never hog the bathroom to manscape.

Yes, yes he will.
~H

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