The Dark Knight is too long.

Back in Summer of 2008 I got tickets to see The Dark Knight at the Smithsonian’s Science Center IMAX. This was actually my very first IMAX movie, and I’m glad TDK broke my IMAX virginity. Since some of the scenes were filmed on IMAX film, it added to the truly unique and amazing experience.

Aside from that, I love TDK. It’s easily one of my favorite comic book movies ever. The writing is solid, there’s very little plot holes, and most of the actors were superb. I say most because Christian Bale is like a dead fish on-screen, and his Batman voice is the worst thing since Aquaman decided a giant sea-horse was a good way to get around the ocean. I love imitating it, since it is really funny. I know Bale wasn’t going for ‘funny’, especially in Batman, but that’s what it was. Gary Oldman is great as Gordon, but Heath Ledger stole the show as the Joker. I know fanboys and girls weren’t happy about him being the Joker, since no one could top Jack Nicholson (at the time), but those two Batman movies are nothing alike. Tim Burton (his movies suck) may have brought Batman back to life, but his world was too comic booky. This is especially true for the other two Batman films that included Bat-Nipples. They weren’t realistic, although at the time they were great.

Nolan’s Batman universe is dark, gritty, and realistic. There are no Bat-Nipples, no stupid annoying side kicks, and let’s be real, Alfred kicks ass in these movies. The Joker was especially gritty. If I saw him in a dark alley, I would honestly be terrified for my life. If I saw Jack Nicholson Joker in an alley? I might be scared, but not on the same level. Ledger’s Joker is just batshit insane.

The only problems with TDK? One, Two-Face only got maybe 20 minutes of screen time. I’m aware he was supposed to be used for the next movie, but for some reason id didn’t happen. I’m not saying he was bad, but he was mis-used and pretty one-dimensional for a villain, especially when Joker was so brilliant. Barbara Gordon has more of a personality than Two-Face. Harvey Dent himself is charismatic, charming yet corrupt, but as Two-Face he just loses that edge.

Also, the movie is too fucking long. During the last 10 minutes, when Batman and Two-Face were talking, I left the theater to go pee. For all I knew the movie would have gone on for another 10 hours. It was plausible, really. The ending was also a let down, because it was so…forced. I thought the movie was going to be over at the last Batman and Joker fight, but boy-o-fucking-boy was I wrong. I did buy the movie promptly on DVD the day it came out and watched it again, but haven’t really seen it since. However, this past month various cable movie stations have been playing this movie almost non stop. So if you have about 5 hours you need to kill, just turn on Stars. The Dark Knight is most likely on right now.

-Lauren

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