Alice in Wonderland

So I see movies really late. I saw Alice tonight (not in 3D since that crap gives me a headache) and was more or less surprised by it. I like that it is NOT a remake of the well-known Disney animated one, but rather a “sequel” (I guess), or just an adaptation of ‘Through The Looking Glass’. Whatever, it was a pretty good movie. The acting was good, the costumes were delicious, and I got the strange feeling Hatter and Alice would have hooked up and had crazy babies if she stayed.

I however had my doubts. I do not like Tim Burton. All of his movies look the same. I can dig a good Hot Topic goth movie like the rest of us, but I get it. You’re weird. Your wife and Mr. Depp are always in your movies as of late. Every blue moon you have a movie that is not gothy or trying to be gothy, but whenever I think of you I frankly think of Hot Topic at Christmas time when it looks like Nightmare Before Christmas threw up in there. Also, lay off the motherfucking CGI. Did Crispin McFly Glover really need to have  a CG body? It looked stupid. His CG horse was also really stupid. Was it not in the budget for a real horse? Seriously how much can it be to rent a horse. I bet paying for all of that CG could have rented you like, 50 horses. Or something.

And please find a new composer. I know that you and Danny Elfman are in a rad bromance, but he is a shitty composer. When the movie opened it sounded like the opening for Batman (1989) and Spider-Man. I expected them BOTH to accidently walk into the movie. He can not come up with new music. He is terrible and over rated. Disney got Elton John to do music for the Lion King, I’m sure you could have found someone better and more creative.  Danny Elfman reached his peak around the time he was in Oingo Boingo. There is no going back after you leave a band with a name like that. Literally.

I am however happy to see Crispin Glover getting work again. Hot Tub Time Machine was hysterical, by the way.

-Lauren

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