King Of Kong

I finally got around to watching what all my friends have been calling an amazing work of art. A work of art so amazing my eyes will cry unicorn blood while pixies dance around my living room, having sex and leaving poop everywhere. Poop that cured asthma, even.

This isn’t a review about the documentary, though. As great as it was (it really was), it opened up my young eyes to a nerdy evil more evil than…I dunno, something evil.

Billy Mitchell.

If your skin isn’t crawling after that, then thanks for reading, Bruce Campbell. Please note, that everything stops when he enters an arcade. I only wish that when I grow up, that I can command so much power, that I too can make people stop playing video games/reading comic books/having glorious amounts of sex in order to stare at the glory that is me.

Except not. He was (as of September of this year, he is not) the highest record holder in the game Donkey Kong. That is why he’s famous. Because he’s really fucking good at a video game. He didn’t cure cancer, he didn’t save a group of children from a burning building. No. He was just really good at playing Donkey Kong. I am aware that much of what he said was probably taken out of context (seriously, it’s pretty clear-cut who the bad guy and the good guy are), but some of it you really have to think. I mean, one of his buddies was calling him with score updates. As a girl who does a fair amount of gabbing, this is a sign that Billy/his friend are jealous/angry/PMSing/acting like twats over someone else possibly beating the score.

I will give props that he owns his own hot sauce company. That is bad ass, as I do enjoy hot sauce a great deal. However, some of the way he acted in this movie (especially the scene where he see’s his rival in the arcade!) is just downright childish.

-Lauren

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One Response to “King Of Kong”

  1. mayank Says:

    Poop curing asthama :O
    This monkey can give a all the doctors a run for their money =P

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